change.. is it worth it?

Long time no see haha,
im back with more thoughts to write about and also to apologize,
ive been extremely busy with exams and all, i got so caught up with school work that i didnt hav time to even think about writing a journal...

but n e whoo - whats been up? well i juss finished my physics exams which i found really easy, so im guessin its safe to assume that i did very well =)
2 exams down, and 1 to go.. i cant wait til its over, juss the thought about getting out of highschool makes me jump.. literally haha

im not a 100% sure, but lately people are telling me that i dont look/talk/act the way i used to be.. what the heck does that mean? i have no idea - so i asked few people about it.. and it turns out that they're not seeing the usual 'smile' on my face like they used to see.. they also said they're worried that i might turn into one of the 'gangsters' cuz i look so down all the time..

first off - im Not a 'clown'.. i dont have to smile 24/7 to please you lol
second - one of the few people i absolutely cannot stand are 'thug-gangster wannabes'.. i would never become one even if i was at a gun point.. they're the most pitiful/pathetic/annoying people next to the feminists..
third, im not down.. its juss that im havin a hard time keeping all the pressure/stress from school/univ inside me..
i used to let it all out by hittin a gym nearby, or beat the heck out of my drums.. but i cant do any of them right now.. so im tryin hold it all in as much as i can..
so even if i look like im going to tear someone's head off, i wont lash it out on you so you dont have to worry about it..

anyway - that got me thinking.. what if i Did change?
what if i did become a scary/mean guy who'd make fun of you everytime you were in my presence?
would you guys still look at me the same way? probably not right?
i find that very interesting - how people have the ability to judge others based on their appearance so if someone looks/acts nice, all of a sudden you wanna be their friend, but if its the exact opposite, you dont even wanna sit next to them..

here's good question to ask..
Would your 'friends' still be your 'friends' even if you didn't look/act/talk the same way as you do now?

if you answered 'yes', you're a very lucky person.. its very hard to find people like that..
if you answered 'no', maybe its not too late to look for one..